Wow, it's been a while!  Finishing up my last day of my 27th week and am ready to head into the final trimester!  Things have been really busy for us as summer has come to an end.  We're definitely ready for some fall weather and for things to cool down.  To kick off the fall, we're heading to the U of M vs Air Force game this weekend.  How exciting, Maddy's first trip to the Big House (in utero of course)!  While it won't be the same without being able to tailgate, I am glad that we're getting in one final game before she comes. 
The pregnancy has been going well.  My weight gain is 13 pounds so far & I am officially at my heaviest ever.  My belly is really tight & I'm not sure how it's going to continue to stretch.  :)  Also, Maddy is getting progressively stronger & her kicks aren't so cute at times anymore.  She moves most of the day & right at bedtime.  Unfortunately, she also wakes up when I get up to pee in the night so that always makes it interesting to try to fall back asleep. 
We've been slacking on taking pictures of my progress, but here are a few from the last few weeks.  I'm also going to include my bikini rocking day at Little Presque in Marquette (26 weeks).  :)

17 Weeks (Actually 18 as of today)

Time is flying by!  I can't believe I'm closing in on the half way point.  One major event this week was feeling the baby move!  It happened on Sunday night around 10pm.  I was laying in bed on my back & Jon was in the shower.  He started hollering for me to bring him his face wash & when I turned to get out of bed, I felt it!  I then layed back down and waited for it to move some more.  He kept yelling for his face wash and I had to tell him to hang on because I was having a moment!  When I told him what happened, he quickly threw a towel on & came running over to feel my belly.  Unfortunately, I had to break it to him that the baby was too small for him to feel just yet.  He was kind of bummed, but instead layed his head on my belly.  He likes trying to listen for the baby.  He thinks he can hear it moving, but I'm pretty sure it's just my insides & gas jiggling around.  Since he seems so excited, I just go with it.  :)

Here is the pic from week 17.  I feel like my belly has kind of popped this week, but it might just be me.  I also think that it would look bigger if my boobs weren't so massive! 

I've grown 3/4 of an inch in circumference since my last post & gained 3 pounds total.  I find the weight gain really hard to believe since I eat like a horse!

Looking forward to our Ultrasound on Monday!!

14 Weeks!

The second trimester has brought with it some great things such as no nausea, more energy and my hormones seem to be less out of whack.  One big change that I've noticed is that I'm not too much of a morning person anymore.  I discovered this last weekend when I slept in until 8am on Saturday and Sunday.  Usually I'm up around 6:45 or 7am.  In addition, I definitely could have slept longer if we wouldn't have had so much going on.  I'm also finding that I am able to stay up later.  Instead of the 8 or 9pm bedtime that I had in the 1st trimester, I'm staying up until 10 or 11pm.  Jon enjoys that because he is such a night owl and now has someone other than Bella to hang out with.  :)

Here are the latest stats on the pregnancy:

The baby is supposedly 3.5 inches long and about the size of a lemon.

Weight gain: 1 lb

Belly circumference: 33 1/4"

Bust: 37"

In addition, I'm starting to fill out around the midsection.  This was a new development over the weekend.  They say that's supposed to mean a girl....

Week 11!

Well, week 11 is technically coming to a close since week 12 starts tomorrow.  However, I figured I'd better get these pics up!  Today I had to use my belly band for the first time.  I'm amazed at how well it keeps my pants up and is so comfortable.  The main changes so far have been that I've already gone up a cup size.  Anyone who's had a baby knows how hard it is to find a good fitting bra that is comfortable and supportive.  I'm struggling to find one that isn't super expensive & still does the job.  Hopefully this weekend.

Our 10 week doctors appointment went really well.  It was amazing to see the baby go from a black dot with a heartbeat at our 7 week u/s to an actual baby form at the 10 week u/s.  It's quite active in there too.  It kept rolling over and thrashing its arms and legs.  It was a crazy experience! 

As week 11 wraps up, I'm getting a little concerned about weight gain.  I had gained 1 pound as of last week, but then lost it this week and actually according to the scale this morning have lost another pound!  I'm now 1 pound less than I was pre-conception.  The reason I'm concerned is because for normal weight gain I should have gained 2-5 pounds by the end of next week.  I just don't want it all to come at once later in the pregnancy!  Otherwise, I'm feeling great & have been extremely thankful that my nausea started to go away around 10 weeks.

Weeks 6 & 7

I've been a little M.I.A. lately, but have finally uploaded some belly pics.  Here they are:

And here are some from this week:

Belly circumference: 32 1/2"
Bust circumference: 35 1/2"

I forgot to measure during week 6...oops!  I'll make a note of it each week from here on out so that I can chart my progress too!  I wasn't planning on doing the bare belly photo (except for my mom because she requested it), but it seems to show more at this point.  Maybe if my bump becomes more obvious in my shirt later, I'll revert to that.  Sorry if it is annoying to anyone!  At least I'm not posting my bare belly on Facebook!  Also, I happen to think that pregnant bellies are one of the most beautiful things in the world.  :) 

I suppose I should probably try taking pictures when I have make-up on too.  It's too early to look like the zombie mom!  On a side note, my sweet belly week by week stickers were designed by my co-worker, Dana.  She's really getting into using her Adobe software...bonus! 

We also got to hear the heartbeat last week.  It was a strong 143.  The ultrasound tech said anything over 80 is good so we were happy.  I'm looking forward to week 10 when I have an appointment here in Grand Rapids with my OB-Gyn.  It's been amazing so far to see the progress and we consider ourselves lucky that we've already had 2 ultrasound pictures and it's only week 7! 

Get out of the way!!!

Today I had my first, "drop everything and run to the bathroom because I'm going to puke" episode.  Luckily I didn't actually get sick, but it freaked me out how quickly it came on.  I've been feeling pretty good otherwise and have learned that small, frequent meals are the best way to keep me from feeling sick.  Although, when I do have my appetite and something is tasting good to me, I have been known to completely gorge myself on it! 

We had an ultrasound this week and found out just how many babies we have growing in me.  Then, next Friday I will have another one because they are keeping an eye on something.  Hopefully we'll be able to share that news soon! 

There's a BABY in there!!!!

I tried to tell Jon when I got home last night that I had left my phone at work and we couldn't check the message.  Of course I couldn't say this with a straight face because I was too anxious to hear it.  It was amazing hearing our nurse enthusiastically shout, "you're pregnant"!  My beta number is 387.  I believe that between 5 and 425 is normal for the 4th week.  I have to go in for blood work every other day until my number reaches 2,000 (it should be doubling or tripling every 2-3 days).  At that point, I will go back to my doctor in Warren for a final ultrasound and will be released from the IVF program!! 

We are so excited and if I thought it was tough to concentrate before, it is nearly impossible now!!  I think the hardest thing is not telling everyone that we know.  While it's not "Facebook Official" yet, we are telling close family and friends.  :) 

Can't wait for my test tomorrow!

5pm

Well, it's 2:53pm right now and I've had the message from my nurse since 1:30pm on my phone.  I'm not checking it because Jon wanted to do it together so he could support me either way.  While I love him for that idea, it is KILLING me not being able to check it!!  I really appreciate all of my friends and family texting me to let me know that they're thinking of me and I'm sure they're anxiously awaiting the news too. 

Otherwise, I've been feeling better today than last week and weekend.  I really struggled Thurs-Sun with eating.  I would feel super hungry and then take about 5-10 bites of something and then feel as if I was going to hurl.  It seems my appetite has returned a little today.  I was actually able to tolerate 1/2 of a container of yogurt this morning which I haven't been able to for over a week.  Unfortunately though, my bloating has not gone down.  I seriously look like I'm 4-5 months pregnant.  I guess this is normal with IVF, but makes for a very uncomfortable time. 

3:05pm--only 2 hours to go!  It's also Ryan and Maria's birthday's today so hopefully that will bring luck!

Oh, the dreaded 2WW!

My transplant was last Wednesday and everything went smoothly.  My doctor implanted 2 grade "A" embryos into my "perfect" uterus (as she called it).  She was very confident and made us feel really good about the procedure.  It was really neat to be able to watch it all with Jon on the ultrasound monitor.  They even gave us pictures, which unfortunately, I can't figure out how to upload on here.  :( 

Other than that, we have been playing the waiting game.  We'll find out if it worked on Monday, the 26th (Ryan & Maria's birthdays!).  Hopefully that is a good sign!  One of the hardest things has been the no lifting regulation.  I'm so used to doing things myself and it has been really tough to have to let other people do everything for me. 

OHSS

Well, I got some not really good news today.  I woke up and weighed myself only to find out that I had gained 5 lbs since yesterday.  This is not a good sign and actually means that my ovaries are leaking fluid into my abdominal cavity which is called Ovarian Hyperstimulation Syndrome or OHSS.  This can be serious if I stop peeing, my urine becomes very dark or I have trouble breathing.  Luckily, I have not had any of these issues thus far.  As of right now, 2:41pm, I have consumed 68oz of water and have peed 12 times today.  My urine output is a lot and my abdominal swelling has gone down.  In addition, my urine is so clear you could almost drink it...almost.  Nevertheless, my doctor still wants me to come in tomorrow morning to be evaluated.  Since my transfer is scheduled for Wednesday, they want to make sure that everything is ok.  Hopefully if I continue with my massive fluid and protein intake, I will continue to pass the fluid and will be ready for everything to go down on Wednesday!

Trigger Time!

I received the amazing phone call today that I can take my trigger injections tonight!  That means that egg retrieval is on Friday morning with my transfer on Monday or Wednesday of next week!  I'm so excited that it's really happening!  It feels like it's just in time too because my thighs were getting a little sore from all of the Menopur and Bravelle injections.  I was also grossed out to learn that those two meds come from post-menopausal women's urine...sick! 

I feel like a kid on Christmas morning!  My brain is too focused on IVF to even concentrate on work.  Tomorrow will be tough to get through with so much on my mind! 

Aaaaaaaah!  I can't believe it's finally time!!

Wow, it's March!

I can't believe that our transfer is only a week or so away!  It seems like we've been waiting for this for months and it's almost here!  I had an ultrasound yesterday and it showed that we have 12 follicles that are the size they should be right now.  My estrogen level went up a bit so we had to increase the amount of meds for my thigh shots.  The Lupron injections are going well, but the thigh injections are getting pretty sore.  The soreness can be compared to the day after doing a ton of squats.  Also, the meds burn a bit going in.  Jon has been a trooper and feels so bad when the injection spots bleed.  He always remarks about how it is all his fault that we are having to go through this in the first place.  I just assure him that we're not doing anything that we both don't want to do. 

I spent most of last weekend feeling nauseous.  Luckily by Tuesday it seemed to have went away.  Other good news is that my boobs are now back to my normal size and aren't so sore that I can't even hug anyone.  This is due to being off of the birthcontrol for over a week now.  In addition, I have lost 4 of the 6 pounds that I put on!  Last night when I mentioned that I seemed to be a little more calm and relaxed since going off of it, Jon definitely agreed.  Apparently he didn't like my psycho moodswings either!  :) 

Jon is also on day 18 of not drinking.  I'm very proud of him for taking the initiative to do this without me asking him.  I know it's been hard, especially on Friday nights when we both used to enjoy coming home and having a beer or glass of wine to relax after a long week.  Hopefully this break in drinking will also help him to establish better drinking habits in the future...one can hope right?!?

So This Is What Menopause Feels Like

Some of the side effects of Lupron are compared to those of menopause: hot flashes, insomnia, nausea, etc.  It is only day 3 of the injections and I am experiencing all three and then some!  I have had crazy vivid dreams that when I wake up I can't tell if it was real or not.  In addition, I slept like crap last night and have had many bouts of nausea today (thank god for saltine crackers!).  I don't know that I have had an all out hot flash yet, but last night before bed I had to have Jon turn my ceiling fan on and I am sitting here at my desk with my mini fan blasting on me while my office co-worker has her space heater on!  Therefore, I'm thinking that I am having constant hot flashes.  :) 

I am surprised at how easy the administering of the injections has been.  I didn't sleep well Friday night knowing that the injections would begin Saturday and spent most of the day on Saturday dreading 6pm (my injection time).  All of that ended up being for nothing as the needle is no bigger than one used to inject insulin and I hardly felt a poke on my stomach. 

On Sunday I woke up with a feeling that I can really do this.  For the first time since all of this started, my spirits have been really high and we really appreciate all of the well wishes from everyone!

Chickens!!!

We're getting chickens this spring!!  I'm so excited!  Chicken eggs and meat are one of the main things that cause me anxiety in regards to food.  I am so picky about what I buy and usually am able to get farm fresh eggs from my aunt.  However, when I can't, I spend the big bucks and get the organic, cage free, etc. super expensive eggs.  Likewise, I spend big bucks on chicken as well.  In just a couple of months, we will be able to have our own farm raised, free range chickens!  Not only does that help financially, but it will also help to fertilize our lawn and garden as well as keep the bug population down.  Here is an example of a mobile chicken coop that we have in mind:

I can't wait to see what Jon comes up with.  I'm sure we'll modify a few designs to make something that works for us. 

On the IVF front, I start the Lupron injections tomorrow in my stomach.  Slightly nervous about it, but also looking forward to getting off the birth control next Wednesday!  Jon did awesome in injection training so I'm sure he'll have no problem mixing the meds and injecting them into my stomach, thighs and eventually hip/butt area.  In addition, the IVF specialist told us that if we remember to ask on the day of our retrieval, the nurses will draw 2 bullseye's on my upper butt/lower back area for the injections.  Sounds funny, but totally worth it to not get poked in the sciatic nerve!!

Keep us in your prayers!!

They Say Some People Can't Change...

And they're wrong!  My relationship with my dad was strained at best while growing up.  However, we had been able to reconnect and grow our relationship after I moved back to the G.R. area.  Slowly but surely things got better between us, but still weren't to where they should be.  I felt that I couldn't really let my guard down completely because I had been let down so many times in the past.  Well, I have to say that he did something extraordinary by taking some of the stress out of our lives yesterday.  He surprised us by helping us out financially with our IVF costs.  In addition, the money that he gave is not to be paid back; he said that his payback will be when he gets to hold his grandchild in his arms...aaaaand cue tears!  I was a blubbering mess after this news and don't know how I'm going to be able to thank him enough.  This was the first time in my life that he has given such a gift without me asking for it. 

On a related note, we had more prayers answered yesterday when another family member (who wishes to remain anonymous) gave us a substantial gift of money toward our IVF costs as well....aaaand cue tears again!  It was a very wet night in our house last night!  This family member said that they knew how much we have struggled to get pregnant and they wanted to help make things easier on us.  It really made us realize how absolutely AMAZING our families are and what wonderful support systems we have (financially and emotionally).  We are also excited for the day when we can pay forward the amazing generosity that has been given to us.  Needless to say, I awoke feeling very refreshed this morning and really looking forward to the weeks ahead!

Tears for Fears

They are more than just a band from the 80's, they are what I have been blinking back all day.  I never knew that going through all of this would be so taxing emotionally.  Sure, it's been tough the past two years of getting excited every month only to find out that Aunt Flo has let you down again and shown her bitchy face.  But nothing has prepared me for how scared and unsure I am about this whole process.  I'm not scared to get pregnant and become a mother; in fact, that is the only thing that is pushing me to get through this.  My fear is in it not working.  Not only is the financial burden of it all very tough to swallow, but if this doesn't work, we will have spent all of that money for nothing.  In addition, I will have put my body through an insane rollercoaster of hormones that is just not good for you.  (My mom had to point out just how bad they were for me the other day when I informed her of what I would be taking.  She was appalled that I would be receiving injections of something that they prescribe for their male patients with prostate cancer.  I informed her that IVF has been around for over 30 years and I'm pretty sure they know what they're doing!)  Nevertheless, these two thoughts bring tears to my eyes everytime I sit and let myself think about them. 

On a positive note, Jon has really amazed me this week.  He has never been one that handles news about money well (mainly when we have to spend it).  I actually had to sit him down last week and ask him if he really wanted to do this because if he did, he was going to have to man up.  I couldn' t have the stress of him freaking out about every little thing because I need to keep myself as stress free as possible.  When he informed me that he would "try", I told him that trying just wasn't good enough; he had to say, "I will".  He then agreed and responded well when I told him that he had to be my rock through all of this.  He had to keep me strong.  I then introduced him to the new motto in our house, "Oh well".  I told him that for the next couple of months if the laundry didn't get done, if dinner didn't get made on time, if someone gets pissed because we couldn't make an appearance for something...oh well!  This is my mantra for attempting to be stress free.  Apparently he has adopted it too because when I came home on Wednesday almost in tears because I found out how much my meds were going to cost, he simply said, "oh well".  I could have kissed him ( I did actually) because he said the #1 thing that I needed to hear right then. 

On a side note, I am attributing all of these tears to birth control; I am not normally this emotional.  I am also attributing the 5 disgusting pounds that I have gained over the past 10 days as well as the extremely tender and everyday growing breasts and cramps.  Have I mentioned how much I hate birth control???

Hopefully my next post will be a little more positive.  10 days until our next doctor's visit in Warren!

Oh Birth Control, how I have not missed you!

Day 2 of birth control and my guts are not happy.  I guess I forgot how much I hated taking birth control and how much happier I was while not on it.  The only thing making me think good thoughts is the possibility of a baby in several months! 
Yesterday I met Dr Young who is a male Fertility Specialist at The Fertility Center in G.R.  He mentioned that my blood pressure was a little high and couldn't figure out why I would be nervous.  Umm, I don't know, maybe because you are going to put an ultrasound wand up my bleeding vagina...gross!  I don't want anyone down there at that time of the month!  Oh, well, it actually wasn't as bad as I thought.  He told me that it was going to be quite uncomfortable and when I mentioned that I had an HCG done and hardly felt anything he said that I would have no problem with this procedure.  About half way in, the ultrasound machine ran out of paper so the nurse started rifling through the cupboards to find some.  Then she and Dr Young discussed whether or not she should leave the room to and get some more for what felt like 5 minutes.  Finally, they decided that she would go and get some so I told her to take her time because I wasn't uncomfortable or anything.  I said it with a laugh, but I think that they definitely picked up on the sarcasm because she left quickly.  That said, I was then left alone in an exam room with a male doctor who had an ultrasound wand in my vagina.  Correct me if I'm wrong, but I believe that is against procedure.  Luckily he wasn't creepy and didn't try anything unprofessional.  She then returned and the ultrasound proceeded.  The results showed that my ovaries looked good and my lining was as it should be at that point in my cycle.  Yay! 
The next step is Lupron in a couple of weeks.  Until then, we will be scraping every last penny we have to prepare for our upcoming ultrasounds which will be a few hundred dollars out of pocket each!  So long social life....

The First of Many Big Days...

Tomorrow we begin our IVF treatment.  I start the day by having my blood drawn to check my estrogen and FSH (follicle stimulation hormone) levels and have my first ultrasound.  I also start birth control.  It has been a crazy week getting everything all lined up since last Wednesday when we received our results from all of our previous testing.  It turns out that my right side is blocked which wasn't a concern to our doctor since my left side is wide open.  Also, my liver panel showed that it was 1 point above normal...oops!  I guess all of those years of boozing is showing up!  The good news is that if we get pregnant, it will have 10 months to heal itself! :)  Back to the results: Jon's testing showed that his total count is 17 million (20 million is normal), his motility is 56% (60% is normal); all of which did not bother our doctor.  Her main concern was the shape; only 3% are normally shaped (4% or lower is abnormal).  We joked that he could have 2 headed sperm and when we went home to look it up, it turns out that yes, he definitely could have 2 headed sperm...many of them!  Therefore, she said that our next step was IVF because the specialist would be able to isolate his good sperm and connect them with my eggs in her petri dish. 

Many phone calls later and I have everything set up to start this process.  Even though Jon's insurance covers IVF up to $15,000 per year; that is only in Detroit.  Unfortunately, the fertility clinic that I have to use for my monitoring in Grand Rapids does not accept our insurance and therefore we will be paying roughly $1,000 out of pocket over the next couple of weeks...ouch.  I'm going to break the news to Jon tonight that his social life is pretty much over for the next few months until we can get through this.  Bonus for me because I won't have to sit around and be jealous that he can have a beer or glass of wine and I can't!  :) 

I'm feeling good about everything so far.  I'm trying to stay as stress-free as possible which is tough for me because I tend to overreact at times.  I'm also not researching anything on the internet because there are way too many horror stories which I do not need to know about!!  :)  Here's hoping that things will go as planned and I'll be knocked up by this time in March!!!

A Day of Answers

Tomorrow is a very big day in our household.  First, we have an appointment to get our results over the phone from Dr. K.  Fingers crossed that it doesn't end up to be anything more than just a low sperm count; not a really low sperm count, but just low enough to be called low.  :)  After that, we have to take Bella into the Vet to see if she has hip dysplasia.  Fingers crossed that she doesn't and just has some type of heal-able injury caused by the devil dog that she played with on New Year's Eve.  We've discussed it a bit and should she need surgery or something, we are of course going to do it, but with the timing of everything else that would be super hard!  (Monetary wise as well as stressful!)

Saying many prayers tonight!!! 

This waiting is getting old....

Well, here I am, 21 days into my cycle and still no ovulation.  This puts me on track for a nice, long 35+ day cycle.  I swear my body is getting some sick pleasure out of slowing down this whole process.  Unfortunately, I can't get my bloodwork results until Jon gives his sample which we don't want to do until after I ovulate.  (No point in wasting some potentially good swimmers!)  Our doctor wants to have all of the information before deciding her plan of attack and won't share anything with us until we get it all taken care of...frustrating! 
However, I have found a new obsession which has helped to take my mind off of my baby-making obsession and that is Pinterest.  I had heard about it for a while and just hadn't taken the time to do it.  Honestly, it seemed like it was all about baby and kid stuff which I didn't have and desperately wanted and figured that it would just make me feel worse about our lack of children.  Well, after I finally caved I have discovered that it is amazing and a huge distraction from everything!  I have so many ideas and projects for Jon and myself in the upcoming months!  We actually spent over and hour last night on it just checking things out and getting ideas for our house and future homes.  I can't wait to get started on decorating our guest bedrooms!

Fingers crossed for ovulation soon!!!